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Post by Wanda Shirk on Jul 16, 2012 22:21:01 GMT -5
I've tried every fucking Survivor contestant to ever be on a blue tribe. And so many other things. ugh fuck.
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Post by Wanda Shirk on Jul 19, 2012 9:53:36 GMT -5
Not much has been happening. I mean, seriously, shit is lacking in the drama department. Everyone fucking gets along and it's AWFUL. I NEED TENSION TO WRITE NEW SONGS. Bitches, supply me with tension. Please.  I am sick so will be here all day to write more. But first I have to go throw the fuck up. |
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Post by Wanda Shirk on Jul 19, 2012 15:31:37 GMT -5
America's Favorite Player is here to tell you what's going on.
Kourtney, Frosti, and I have an alliance. Yeah, I'm working with my enemy Kourtney, but y0l0 so whatever. I'll backstab her when the time comes but for now it's nice to have the numbers.
Frosti I don't feel the need to betray at this point because he's so sweet. Of course he can't make finals though because if he does everyone will be all "awww frosti is such a cuddly little motherfucker, let's reward him with victory!" No thanks. The win is mine. If not, the ratings will OBVIOUSLY go down for next season. Who wants to watch a show where shitty cute bitches win? No. You want a winner that could be on Broadway that has nice (albeit saggy) breasts and has a history of bitching and tapdancing. That's the formula for success.
Glee figured it out, so did I.
Also, I've been having orgies with production. DD and Sherea specifically. We have a lesbian encounter basically nightly, and guess what? My husband does video work for major corporations and he has hooked up a satellite to our campsite and is livestreaming our lesbian sex every night. I'm getting paid already and I haven't even won yet. What now bitches?
Jay calls me fiance and licks my liverspots too, so apparently I am cheating on him but that's okay, when he finds out who I am he might hate me.. I kinda evicted him in a BB game recently. Whatever.
So, the vote is for JT tonight. He is always on AIM but never talks to any of these bitches. Seriously, JT, where's the weed because you've been smoking way too much and I'm ready to Puff Puff Pass you on to Pre-Jury.
Darrah was the other option for the vote, but Frosti and Kourtney like her even though she's so lexdamned boring! Fuck's sake. Whatever, she's next. Ace tried hard in the challenge last night so the bitches'd feel bad if we voted him out, and I'm fine with that, because Oh My Lex he has sexy feet and Wanda likes to massage them feetsies.
Speaking of that, Production, you guys want a foot massage in exchange for inside information? Please? Pfft, why beg, your feet are obviously runnin' this way.
The rest of my tribe is pissed that Gwad backstabbed them in the challenge but bitches, please realize that everyone backstabs in Survivor and if you don't you are screwed to shit. Good thing they didn't backstab me and they still love me so when we swap I'm safe. All the fans check on me and make sure I'm safe too. Who's golden? This bitch.
Before America's Favorite Player goes to steal JT's spliff, I'm gonna sing you a song.
Friday nights are always the same in this game
We have hot sex and then evict someone that's super lame
Da da da, you know that I run this shit
Quit questioning, we don't want some insane conflict
Save those for later
You fucking haters
I have friends, and they have friends, and they have parties, and I'm so awkward
So I pick up my microphone and I sing the hole way home; here's a foreword
I'm gonna win you have no chance
America wants to get in my pants
There's no other way I'm here to stay
Stop trying to run Big Wanda away
Da da da, da da da da da da
Da da da, da da da da fuck you.
AFP is out.
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Post by Wanda Shirk on Jul 19, 2012 19:12:00 GMT -5
So JT is voting me and prob some others but whatever. I'm America's Favorite Player and I can't go out that damn easy.
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Post by Host Lex on Jul 19, 2012 19:49:43 GMT -5
Couldn't help but notice your word filter!
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Post by Wanda Shirk on Jul 19, 2012 21:36:50 GMT -5
Y0l0 is the ignorant's way of saying carpe diem. But it's obviously a strategy to appear dumb so I'm gonna y0l0 it up babe.
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Post by Host Lex on Jul 19, 2012 21:44:35 GMT -5
Not that filter!
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Post by Wanda Shirk on Jul 19, 2012 21:58:05 GMT -5
Lexdammit, I can't find a filter!
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Post by Wanda Shirk on Jul 19, 2012 22:47:52 GMT -5
Had to do some damage control because JT told Darrah I was voting her. Faked a conversation with him and she believed it so ta-da back on my good graces she is.
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Post by Wanda Shirk on Jul 19, 2012 22:59:25 GMT -5
Everyone's freaking out about the swap tomorrow but.. don't you think it's a little too obvious for that? Maybe an absorption of Desterrados into Gwadatoo and Nesoi? IDK, I just don't think swap is it. If it is, I'll be shocked at how obvious it is.
Maybe it's not even anything to do with tribes at all, but.. an elimination challenge? Ugh I have no clue what it is. Ugh.
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Post by Host Lex on Jul 19, 2012 23:02:58 GMT -5
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Post by Wanda Shirk on Jul 19, 2012 23:44:06 GMT -5
MAYBE EVERYONE GETS A SEX CHANGE AND THEN WE HAVE AN ORGY? BECAUSE "CHANGE IS COMING" ?  ? |
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Post by Wanda Shirk on Jul 20, 2012 7:18:01 GMT -5
^ Shot down.
Okay so another blindside with the evictee's vote going to me. WHAT IS THIS. Ted IMed me and was freaking out because he thought I was gonna be out. This nigga. He really wants the V.
Coach and I are talking again, which is as painful as ever but I'll try to pretend otherwise.
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Post by Wanda Shirk on Jul 20, 2012 7:21:42 GMT -5
Ted Rogers 8:07 am
=-O well i must admit
your not my type..but those liver spot
Ted Rogers 8:07 am
are a turn on
Wanda Shirk 8:07 am
Teriyaki liverspots are a necessity to life
Ted Rogers 8:08 am
Teriyaki!?
Wanda Shirk 8:08 am
That's the flavor of my liverspots :-)
Ted Rogers 8:10 am
.................omg
wow lol
I am speechless
may I taste?
Wanda Shirk 8:12 am
Well of course you can
Not like I"m letting a silly white man taste them
Ted Rogers 8:12 am
ok...hmmmm
*licks liver spots*
................................
Wanda Shirk 8:13 am
*shivers*
Ted Rogers 8:13 am
salty teriyaki
Wanda Shirk 8:13 am
*grabs back of head and pushes down* That one tastes like chinese food ;-)
Ted Rogers 8:13 am
:-!
that one tasted like Hoisin
little sweeter
Wanda Shirk 8:14 am
Oh did it now?
Never gotten that before
I take that as a compliment though, normally I get salmon.
Ted Rogers 8:15 am
Salmon teriyaki is my fave
I make it at home
Wanda Shirk 8:15 am
Maybe that's why you like me so much
Ted Rogers 8:15 am
Terikyaki sauce is just Soy sauce, honey and brown sugar
Wanda Shirk 8:15 am
Teriyaki sauce is Jesus's jizz
Ted Rogers 8:16 am
who would know? I dunno if Jesus ever jizzed in his life
Ted Rogers 8:17 am
maybe while he was crucified
Wanda Shirk 8:19 am
*nails through hands* YES LORD
Ted Rogers 8:19 am
OH GOD YES...ANOTHER NAIL
Wanda...we are both going to hell now
Wanda Shirk 8:20 am
This was probably determined a long time ago :-)
I'm glad to be going there with you.
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Post by First Mate DD on Jul 20, 2012 7:39:28 GMT -5
Ted Rogers 8:07 am =-O well i must admit your not my type..but those liver spot Ted Rogers 8:07 am are a turn on Wanda Shirk 8:07 am Teriyaki liverspots are a necessity to life Ted Rogers 8:08 am Teriyaki!? Wanda Shirk 8:08 am That's the flavor of my liverspots :-) Ted Rogers 8:10 am .................omg wow lol I am speechless may I taste? Wanda Shirk 8:12 am Well of course you can Not like I"m letting a silly white man taste them Ted Rogers 8:12 am ok...hmmmm *licks liver spots* ................................ Wanda Shirk 8:13 am *shivers* Ted Rogers 8:13 am salty teriyaki Wanda Shirk 8:13 am *grabs back of head and pushes down* That one tastes like chinese food ;-) Ted Rogers 8:13 am :-! that one tasted like Hoisin little sweeter Wanda Shirk 8:14 am Oh did it now? Never gotten that before I take that as a compliment though, normally I get salmon. Ted Rogers 8:15 am Salmon teriyaki is my fave I make it at home Wanda Shirk 8:15 am Maybe that's why you like me so much Ted Rogers 8:15 am Terikyaki sauce is just Soy sauce, honey and brown sugar Wanda Shirk 8:15 am Teriyaki sauce is Jesus's jizz Ted Rogers 8:16 am who would know? I dunno if Jesus ever jizzed in his life Ted Rogers 8:17 am maybe while he was crucified Wanda Shirk 8:19 am *nails through hands* YES LORD Ted Rogers 8:19 am OH GOD YES...ANOTHER NAIL Wanda...we are both going to hell now Wanda Shirk 8:20 am This was probably determined a long time ago :-) I'm glad to be going there with you. Not real. |
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